Living life for me

I am tired of living my life for everyone and not thinking about what I want out of it. I am, starting today going to think of what I want out of life, screw everyone else.
I lived my life for my ex-husband for 13 years and ended up absolutely miserable. And before I got married I lived my life for my parents and what would make them happy. I am know living my life for the people that are around me the most, and for my parents still.
I have had enough of people butting in and telling me what the fuck to do. Get the hell out of my life. Let me live it.

Love and What does it mean

Love to me means, loving someone no matter what the other persons failures are. I believe that when you choose someone to be in your life, we do not have the right to change them. We need to except people for who they are and not for what we can make them into.

We need to live our own lives and not worry about others lives. We need to laugh alot, or we will be a very miserable individual, we need to love or we will only hate everybody.

Life and what it throws at you

Since when does any of us like it when life makes us make decisions that are hard......

Life lately has been one complicated mess. And never was told that love, money and all sorts of other crap would be so hard to make decisions on.

Where in the world is the handbook for life.....There is a handbook out there for everything, why not life and love.

Why is it that the one thing we do not have a handbook about is the one thing that is so hard to do? And that is live life and make the right decisions.

Lazy

Well that is what I want to be. The way life is throwing the curve balls at me, I am just really wanting to be a really lazy person.........I know I can not be that way though. I am just not wanting to do anything.

Michael today got 4 shots today. Then he went to work with dad today. And he also got the flu shot today. Since when did they make the flu shot mandatory. He has not had the flu shot his whole life, so me as a single parent I am worried about him.

Life will get better, I know it will. I just wish that it would get better quickly. I am so tired of life being so hard. When will it get better. Tired of crying. Life, Life, what do you want from me.

Life and what it really means.

Life is what you make it.  If you want it to be full of drama that is what you will make it.  If you want an easy life then that is what it will.  Our decisions are what determines how our life is going to turn out.

What does life and people expect from me

I am so tired of life and people thinking that I am a punching bag. I am so tired of life throwing me curve balls, I am not playing baseball. If I was playing baseball I sure would not want curve balls thrown at me. Life just needs to take a flying leap off of the nearest cliff and not come back. Do not mess with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BovthPByLTo

This is my favourite song right now.

It makes me stop and think about what life is wanting from me.

More about NC

So I have been here a little over a month and things are going well. I am having fun watching the boys during the day. Marcia and I are getting along a whole lot better as the time goes by. I wonder how it will be the longer I am here.
My parents are going to send me money to help me out to get on my feet. I love family and friends without them I will not be able to do anything.
Thank you for all that you all have done for me.

North Carolina Life

Michael and His Dad CJ

Michael and his youngest brother Mark

Michael and the dog Tango



Michael

Michael with his brothers, Brian, Blake, and Mark

Ok so alot has happened since I have been here.

Me and Michael made a move to North Caroline after my husband told me he did not want to be married to me anymore. We arrived at the beginning of the month. It has been going well. Michael is happy here know, it took him a while to get use to the fact that there was no chance of us going back to Bob.

We are living with Michaels biological father and his wife and kids. I do feel sometimes that I am a burden to the family and that I am over staying my welcome. But I have no way of moving out on my own.

Life

Right know to be blunt, my life sucks. I am going through things that I never thought I would ever have to go through.
Let me explain:
The husband that I have had for 12 years, told me he did not want to be married anymore. I would love to know how you can just throw away 12 years of life.
I tried for so long but he never wanted any of it.
My question is how do you get through a divorce without crying every night.
So my life has brought me to my sons dad and his wife. Which is the best thing that has happened to me since the night my husband told me he wanted a divorce.
They have been great people.
My son got to meet his dad for the first time in 12 years. Which I regret not letting him have a chance to have him in his life. My son also has gotten to know 3 of his half brothers. He has always wanted to have brothers. So he came here and has a wonderful person to call dad and he gets to know his brothers.
I actually am there nanny know. I love my job, I love kids and taking care of them. They get a little crazy sometimes but they are boys and I should not expect anything more than that.

Here

Okay i made it to utah, eating something. Hanging out with family. I will post pictures when I get back home. I am really excited about being here.